Fystiki PouKylaei

First of all, you might ask, why “Fystiki” (Pistachio)? Because, my friend, nothing else describes my saltiness and curves so vividly! And why “PouKylaei” (That Rolls)? Mainly because it looks great when you see it written on social media—let’s be honest, GOD DAMN IT! It’s catchy, it intrigues you, I mean, look how long we’ve been talking about it now, eh… see? Also, because Fystiki PouKylaei never gets stale—and right now, I’ve trampled on grammar, spelling, punctuation, and your nerves!In short, I’m a writer, but not one of the “normal” ones—let’s not kid ourselves. I’m a “sort of” writer. Yes, I’ve written 5 best-selling books, I’ve set up a few dozen pages, and hundreds of my texts have been floating around “anonymously” on the internet for years now. Most of the viral texts you’ve read? Yeah… I wrote those. Still, you wouldn’t call me an intellectual—I don’t even wear scarves! Imagine that, a writer without a scarf is like a muleteer without a mule. MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL, but it rhymes, and that’s the kind of thing I write. People laugh when I introduce myself as a writer—can I say they’re wrong? They’re not.