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My father taught me to play chess when I was six years old. I graduated elementary school considering him one of the best players in the history of chess, and I really enjoyed playing with him. Sometimes he would let me win, and I knew he was letting me win. Fifty years later, we would occasionally suggest playing a game of chess, and we enjoyed it a lot... Sometimes I would let him win, and he knew I was letting him win.
Jorge and Demián Bukay discuss the first, most critical, and defining relationship of human existence: the one that connects parents with their children. Trying to express their own views on the eternal questions that occupy humanity from birth to death, they do not hesitate to disagree and do not try to cover up their differing opinions. What does it mean to be a parent? What is the reason to become one? What makes someone "more of a parent" than someone else? What does it mean to "be a father" and what does it mean to "be a mother"?
Based on their professional experience as psychiatrists and psychotherapists, they approach the topic of parenthood and agree that from the moment you have a child, beyond the biological relationship that connects you to them, you are called to fulfill a function that implies you feel, think, and act as a parent.
The reader will find a categorization of the various "types of parents" commonly found in modern society (neglectful, authoritarian, politically correct, etc.) as well as some opinions on how we can build the type of relationship we desire with our children. Jorge Bukay comments on Parents and Children as follows: "This ‘toolbox for maintaining a difficult relationship’ I believe is my best book (and maybe the most useful) precisely because it works like tools. I would love to hear that it has been useful to people thinking about becoming parents, and that it helped in some way with their decision to take the plunge."
A "toolbox" for the parental relationship, based on experience, psychology, and a deep understanding of human needs. With honesty, empathy, and realism, the two authors show you how to be a parent without losing yourself – and how to accompany your child without holding them back.
"A book that doesn't tell you how to raise your child – it shows you how to grow yourself through this relationship."
– Psicología y Familia
"Bucay always writes in a way that touches the emotions. Here, he does it doubly – as a father and as a therapist."
– El País
“Being a parent does not mean having all the answers. It means being there – truly.”
“Your relationship with your child is not static. It is a living, dynamic, evolving connection – just like you.”
Jorge Bucay is one of the most beloved psychotherapists and authors in the Spanish-speaking world, with millions of readers worldwide. Demian Bucay, Jorge's son, is a psychiatrist and psychotherapist specializing in family and couples therapy. Together, they offer a deep and honest look at the parent-child relationship, with language that is simple and meaningful.
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