"All parents will agree that adequate preparation for life requires responsibility. However, few know how to cultivate it. It is generally believed that we must 'teach' responsibility. The tools used for this teaching are usually punishment, rewards, and bribery. However, these methods often fail to achieve their purpose because responsibility is not 'taught'. We need to give it to the child and let them learn how to handle it.
1. Don't do for your child what they can do for themselves. This rule is often violated by parents who set high expectations and treat their children as if they are incapable of achieving those expectations. When a child learns to take on responsibilities for the first time, they may not meet the adult's demands. Don't pay attention to the result, but to the effort.
2. Take time to practice (at the right moment). Many of our efforts to cultivate responsibility fail because we haven't chosen the right moment. The worst time to practice with a child is during conflict and when there are time constraints. The best time is when there is calm and time to spare.
3. Ask; don't demand! Usually, when we demand something from children, we decrease their desire to help. On the other hand, when we ask for their cooperation, emphasizing our need for this help, and the children's ability to assist, we make our request more appealing.
4. Use natural and logical consequences. When a child refuses to carry out tasks that are solely their responsibility, the parent should stop talking, withdraw from the battlefield, and let the child face the consequences of their irresponsibility. As children learn to accept responsibility, they begin to enjoy being responsible. They gain confidence and feel that they are worthy." [Excerpt from the text on the back cover of the edition]
