If certain forms of teenage behavior trigger irrational reactions in you, working through the reasons why this happens can help you adjust your responses. For example, all teenagers will at some point be disobedient towards their parents as part of their process of gaining independence. If your parents had an authoritarian way of raising you, "because I say so," you might also carry the belief that we must obey adults or, on the contrary, you may have turned in the opposite direction and be much more relaxed. If your parents made you feel guilty, used silence as punishment, or ignored your feelings, and you have never processed this behavior, it may determine your reactions towards your child. Or, if difficult friendships or academic disappointments were a feature of your adolescence, you may find that you are sensitive when your teenage child faces similar situations.

Reflect on your adolescence and ask yourself the following questions: What do you like and dislike about the way your parents raised you? In a few words, how would you describe your relationship with your parents during your adolescence? What impact does the way you were raised in adolescence have on the formation of your adult self? Now think about the present: Is there any behavior your teenage child adopts that "sets off alarm bells" for you? Why do you think this issue affects you? Is it connected to the behavior you experienced?