This book is a love story. It’s not exactly mine, but it could very well be yours. At 39, I decided to take on the role of a guinea pig in dating. I would go out and collect answers, which I would then attempt to apply to my own real-world life.

I also started talking to pioneering marriage researchers, sociologists, psychologists, anthropologists, divorce lawyers, religious community leaders, matchmakers, coaches, and even moms. I hoped that with a little guidance and insight, I would take a step in the right direction to find the right partner for my life. And perhaps I could also help other women in the same position as me.

This book is not a book of advice nor a dating manual. There are no progress charts to fill out or rules you are called to follow. It is simply an honest exploration of the reasons why our dates may not evolve as we planned and our role in it. Because in the end, it is up to us to see what kinds of choices we want to make in the future.

You may not like the opinions of some experts. In the beginning, I didn’t like them either, and many times I exclaimed, banging my hand on the table, that things cannot be this way. What I realized is that, in any case, knowledge is power. This journey has profoundly changed both me and my personal life. It could change yours too...

L. G. “Surprisingly delightful book that shows us how liberating the truth can be...” The New York Times

“Remarkably unpretentious and persuasive!” Oprah Winfrey

“A sincere and insightful analysis, an exceptionally original and innovative book.” Booklist

“Gottlieb challenges and inspires us to rethink our beliefs and reevaluate our views.” The Chicago Tribune

“By combining true stories with her own, Gottlieb delivers a book that is entirely honest and extremely enjoyable, which additionally serves as a keen analysis of the role of society and culture in the ways modern women seek love.” The New York Observer