As a culture, patriarchy functions as a set of rules and values, codes and scripts that dictate how men and women are supposed to act and exist in the world. Violating these rules can have serious consequences.

More insidiously, patriarchy exists internalized, shaping the way we think and feel, how we perceive and judge ourselves, our desires, our relationships, and the world we live in. Moreover, these two aspects, the cultural and the psychological, often find themselves in a state of conflict: we may unconsciously absorb and redefine a system that we consciously and actively oppose.

We recognize that there are complex social and political forces that can explain the persistence of patriarchy. Some people benefit from its systemic and economic arrangements and have a vested interest in maintaining them. However, every political or social theory is based on psychology: on a set of assumptions about what people want and what motivates them.

In this highly original and compellingly argued book, Carol Gilligan and Naomi Snider argue that patriarchy persists because it serves a psychological function. By requiring us to sacrifice love for the sake of hierarchy, patriarchy protects us from the vulnerability of love and thus becomes a defense against loss. Revealing the powerful psychological mechanisms that underpin patriarchy, the authors show how forces outside of our consciousness may drive a politics that otherwise seems inexplicable.