Can you distinguish a tomato from a raisin? A piece of grass from a Christmas tree? If so, congratulations – you are a botanist. Simon Barnes, a self-proclaimed bad birdwatcher, thought he knew nothing about plants. He had nothing against them: trees are interesting because they host birds, and plants are useful because they create habitats where all birds live. However, admiring the persistence of some yellow-horned poppies thriving on a pebble beach – a place where it seemed no plant had a hope of survival – he was struck by a simple yet profound truth. Everything begins with plants. In this charming and inspiring book, Barnes takes us on a fascinating journey, from the simple genius of photosynthesis to the complex and strange ways plants reproduce. We examine plants such as cabbages and conifers, familiar wildflowers and enigmatic orchids, malevolent parasites and plants bearing deadly toxins – helping us better appreciate the beauty and diversity of the natural world. And as an introduction to botany and an exploration of how plants shape our external and internal worlds, How to Be a Bad Botanist opens our eyes to the wonders around us. Plants are everywhere, in every part of your life, and you know more than you think.