Forget the Odyssey you knew. Homer sang about it, but I lived it.

And through the ages, many secrets of my epic have been forgotten.
Do you want to learn them?

For example:
What did the Laestrygonians look like? And does Cavafy say grand words?
Why do the Cyclopes still sing about the Twelve and the Little Lover?

What kind of witch was Circe and how much did her detailed horoscope cost?
What happened with the lotuses and the Sun's Black Angus?

What was the repertoire of the Sirens and why does one fall from attraction, while another from binding?

What did my mother tell me when she saw me in the Underworld? (No, we didn't have cardigans back then.)

What was Scylla before she became a monster, and why weren't all the antacids in the world enough for her sister?

How did I spend seven years on Calypso's island?

How mafia-like was this Hermes after all? And why don't we know more about the mysterious Larry?

Above all – who was the true Penelope, who never touched a loom in her life and had her suitors written down?

So sit back, and I will tell you everything — I, Odysseus, the clever protagonist of the story.

The rest are words of the immortals – that is, fairy tales.