Is motherhood a human instinct? Does the maternal instinct exist? What is really true about the biological clock? Do women who don’t have children regret it? Are there women who have had children and regretted it? To what extent is motherhood chosen freely or socially imposed? Is it selfish that I (do not) want a child? Is it normal that I do not want to become a mother? How can I be sure if I want a child or not?

When motherhood is seen as the supreme value and the only "normal" path for all women, women who consider not becoming mothers face constant pressure to conform to the prevailing social model and fulfill their "nature." The pressures start so early that many women find it difficult to trace their "true" desires.

Having children is considered a non-decision, a law of nature, resulting in confusion between wanting to become a mother and consenting to become a mother. How we use our wombs divides women into the successful and the unsuccessful. This book, based on research and the psychotherapy groups organized by Lyo Kalovyrnas since 2012, gives voice to women, with or without children, who are not only unheard but silenced and diminished as problematic or nonexistent.

Contents:

• Introduction: why I wrote this book
• Silencing female desire
• There is no maternal instinct
• And hormones? The maternal filter?
• Is my body asking me to have a child? Or is it the television?
• Need for a baby? No, need for care
• Biological clock: a cunning myth is born
• Fertility as a threat
• Non-motherhood as imposition
• Should I become a mother or not? The choice, the freedom, and its burden
• What is my true desire?
• How to decide what I really want
• I will not have children: a big choice or many small ones?
• Why would I want a child?
• Will I regret it?
• Women who regretted becoming mothers
• How to cope with pressures
• Am I selfish or fearful of responsibility because I don't want children?
• Living without children
• Bibliography