Dear reader,

The word "carnivorous" found in the title of this book means "feeding on flesh." The story contained in this carnivorous book is so sad that if you consume even a little of its content, it will churn your stomach more than an unbalanced meal.

To avoid feeling unwell, it would be best if I did not mention any of the dreadful components of this story, such as a complicated map, an ambidextrous person, a restless crowd, a wooden board, and Ickypan, the baby-wolf.

Unfortunately, my time is entirely devoted to researching and documenting the unpleasant and sad life of the Baudelaire orphans. However, your time can be filled with something that brings pleasure, like eating vegetables or giving them to someone else to eat.

With all my respect,

Lemony Snicket