Dear Reader, Before you throw this book to the ground and run away as fast as you can, you should at least know the reason why first.

This book is the only one that describes every little detail of the Baudelaire's grim stay at the Heimlich Hospital, which makes it one of the most dreadful books in the world. There are many delightful things to read, but this book contains none.

Within its pages, you will find terrible details, such as a suspicious shopkeeper, an unnecessary surgery, a system of communication, anesthesia, heart-shaped balloons, and some shocking news about a fire. I’m sure you would not want to read something like this.

I have vowed to investigate this story thoroughly and document it in the best possible way, so I know that this book is better left on the floor, right where you undoubtedly found it.

Sincerely,

Lemony Snicket

[Excerpt from the text on the back cover of the edition]